nailed v2 issue 4

Yep, It’s me again. Your old pal SideShow Bennie coming back at you with more tales from the road. It has been an interesting time since the last Nailed update so let’s get started, shall we?

I traveled down I-75 to the lovely city of Tampa, FL for the Tampa Bay Tattoo & Piercing Expo which was held at the Doubletree Hotel in April. It was a great show. Lots of exhibitors, great bands (it was good to work with Keith Caton & The Accelerators again) and my act followed foxy boxing and jello wrestling. I wanted to include some photos of the jello wrestling for your viewing pleasure but most of the pics came out kind of blurry. I guess that happens when you are trying to focus the camera just using one hand. This is the best I could come up with...

Turning the BennieMobile around and traveling north, I made my way to Westminster, MD where I was the featured performer at the annual Spring Fling at McDaniel College. This school was founded in the mid 1800’s and used to be known as Western Maryland College until a recent name change. It was a beautiful place and I was thrilled that they would let an old SideShow reprobate like me sully the integrity of their campus.

The performance was a really good one and I am sure that I converted several youths to the SideShow gospel. Hey, someone has to be a bad example for America’s youth and I am just the man for the job. You know, I could really get used to these college gigs. The put me up in a nice hotel, paid me well, fed me a splendid dinner, supplied a lovely, lovely assistant to throw darts into my back and then, after my performance I had 6 (count them, 6) beautiful co-eds carry my gear back to the BennieMobile. So this is what SideShow Heaven is like...

May had it’s share of interesting shows. There was the art and fashion show in Nashville where I was privileged to share a dressing room with the fashion models (I love my job!) and where I nearly sliced off a finger when i got too close to my hand while chopping celery off my chest with a chinese vegetable knife. (I told you that blade was razor sharp! I guess now you will believe me) Believe you me, this show was mighty hot stuff...

I was asked by my pal, The Great Nippulini to come to Philadelphia to share the stage with him as he attempted to set the new Guiness World’s Record for most amount of weight lifted by the human nipples. How could I turn that down?
The day started early as we did morning radio to plug the show. We were live in studio on WMMR in Philly. The Nippled One lifted a bowling ball for the DJs and for the listening audience and I stapled a $5 bill to my forehead and jammed a screwdriver up my nose. I have to admit, before we left, we had the morning crew squealing like crazed schoolgirls.

We left the radio studio and headed to the local Fox affiliate where we were taped a segment for Good Day Philadelphia with noted Philly TV figure, Grover Silcock. We were taped doing a little street performance on the famous South Street, raising quite a crowd and quite a ruckus. We concluded by having The Great Nippulini pull my lard ass on a cart down South Street using only his mighty man teats. Quite the impressive feat indeed.

The Show itself took place at that Tritone on South Street. Nippulini was opening the show and setting the record and I was to be the closer. The atmosphere was electric. There was a representative from the PA Dept. of Agriculture, Division of Weights and Measures to certify the accuracy of the weight to be lifted. The anvils, the chains and the lifting rig were all dutifully weighed and certified. The Nips started out with bowling balls and the like as a warm up and then prepared himself to set the record. The lifting rig was attached to his nipple rings, the chains and anvils (one 30 lb. and one 15 lb.) were attached and with a mighty strain, the objects were suspended and held for the requisite time needed to set the record. The crowd went wild!! The final weight lifted? A whopping 48.3 pounds!! For more photos and footage from Good Day Philadelphia, check out Nippulini’s website at